Ria
Pell
didn’t
let
her
relative
unfamiliarity
with
marriage
stop
her
from
proposing
to
her
partner
in
storybook
style.
“I
think
marriage
is
probably
pretty
foreign
to
a
lot
of
gays
and
lesbians,”
says
Pell,
a
longtime
Atlanta
resident
and
restaurant
owner.
“But
if
anybody
deserves
some
recognition
for
getting
as
far
as
they
did,
it’s
gays
because
it’s
really
difficult
to
have
a
long-term
relationship
in
such
tense
times.”
During
an
extended
trip
through
Europe
last
spring,
Pell
flew
her
girlfriend
Kiki
Carr
to
Paris,
where
Pell
planned
to
present
Carr
with
the
handmade
engagement
ring
she
had
carried
around
for
weeks.
The
splendor
and
romance
of
the
French
city
filled
Pell
with
nervous
energy,
making
every
street
corner
or
sidewalk
café
seem
like
the
perfect
spot
to
pop
the
question.
Finally,
once
the
couple
reached
the
top
of
the
Eiffel
Tower,
Pell
asked
Carr
to
marry
her,
and
Carr
accepted.
In
a
testament
to
how
picturesque
Pell’s
marital
courtship
of
Carr
was,
actor
Tom
Cruise
grabbed
headlines
by
pulling
off
the
exact
same
stunt
when
proposing
to
Katie
Holmes
two
months
later.
But
after
the
engagement,
they
broke
with
tradition/To
have
a
ceremony
infused
with
individuality
was
their
mission
/
And
when
the
wedding
was
over,
the
happy
couple
knew
it
had
been
bitchin’.
WEDDING
VOWS
WRITTEN
IN
the
language
of
Dr.
Seuss
were
but
one
of
the
unique
elements
Pell
and
Carr
incorporated
into
their
May
7
wedding.
Characters
from
the
legendary
children’s
books,
reflected
in
several
of
Pell’s
tattoos,
also
inspired
the
couple’s
bright,
six-layer,
irregularly
shaped
wedding
cake.
Neither
Pell
nor
Carr
initially
considered
herself
the
marrying
type,
until
they
saw
that
they
and
other
gay
and
lesbian
couples
were
denied
the
legal
benefits
of
marriage
as
well
as
the
excuse
weddings
provide
to
partake
in
an
all-out
party
and
meaningful
fellowship
with
family
and
friends.
Witnessing
what
she
considers
a
lot
of
“loveless”
wedding
ceremonies,
Carr
says
she
and
Pell
were
committed
to
making
their
commitment
ceremony
one
of
a
kind.
“It’s
really
important
for
it
to
be
about
who
you
are,
and
not
just
some
stale
ceremony,”
Carr
says.
“We
couldn’t
have
done
it
in
a
church
because
that
wouldn’t
have
been
either
of
our
personality.”
Instead
of
a
cathedral
or
chapel,
Pell
and
Carr
exchanged
their
rhyming
vows
before
about
300
guests
at
Oakland
Cemetery
near
downtown
Atlanta,
across
the
street
from
Pell’s
Ria’s
Bluebird
Restaurant.
Pell
sported
a
black
tuxedo,
a
pair
of
Italian
square-toe
shoes
from
Junkman’s
Daughter
in
Little
Five
Points,
and
a
homemade
fuchsia
bowtie
to
match
Carr’s
fuchsia-dyed
wedding
dress.
The
ceremony
also
featured
several
local
bands,
and
was
officiated
by
a
6-foot-something
giant
wearing
a
kilt.
“I
wanted
to
make
it
so
very
special
for
everybody
involved
so
that
it
would
be
something
that
would
stick
out
in
their
memory
for
a
long
time,”
Pell
says.
Having
both
of
their
families
attend
a
same-sex
wedding
was
rewarding,
but
Carr
says
it
was
refreshing
for
the
couple
to
navigate
their
own
way
through
uncharted
territory
when
planning
the
ceremony.
“We’re
really
lucky
because
I
know
a
lot
of
straight
folks
who
are
getting
married,
and
as
soon
as
their
moms
find
out,
they
kind
of
swoop
in
and
there’s
all
these
pressures
and
expectations,”
Carr
says.
CARR
AND
PELL’S
REBELLIOUS
nature
helped
inspire
their
decision
to
marry,
despite
living
in
a
time
when
everyone
from
President
Bush
to
Georgia
Gov.
Sonny
Perdue
is
rebuking
same-sex
unions.
But
despite
the
hostile
rhetoric
accompanying
efforts
to
amend
the
state
and
federal
constitutions
to
forbid
same-sex
marriage,
an
increasing
number
of
gay
and
lesbian
couples
are
cementing
their
bonds
with
formal
ceremonies.
“So
many
members
of
the
gay
community
are
always
aware
of
what
the
big
political
picture
is,
and
aware
of
their
own
lives,
and
one
doesn’t
stop
the
other
from
occurring,”
says
Kathryn
Hamm,
a
lesbian
wedding
planner
who
has
operated
gayweddings.com
since
2000.
“The
more
gay
marriage
comes
up
in
the
news,
more
and
more
people
are
feeling
that
they
have
permission
to
do
this,”
Hamm
says.
“And
one
of
the
benefits
we
have
is
that
we
don’t
have
any
rules,
so
we
really
are
able
to
start
from
scratch.”
At
the
First
Metropolitan
Community
Church
of
Atlanta,
Rev.
Paul
Graetz
says
lesbian
couples
are
more
likely
than
gay
male
ones
to
go
through
the
ritual
of
marriage
or
public
commitment.
Still,
he
agrees
that
same-sex
couples
have
boundless
choices
when
it
comes
to
what
kind
of
service
to
have.
“There’s
those
who
really
love
the
traditional
wedding,
and
they
really
want
that
— they
...
