Many
black
gay
men
and
lesbians
are
attracted
to
Atlanta
because
of
the
unprecedented
opportunities
the
city
offers.
The
fusion
of
black
and
gay
cultures,
and
the
way
both
are
widely
dispersed
throughout
the
city,
seems
to
promise
a
better
quality
of
life
than
can
be
found
in
small
towns
like
Tuskegee,
Ala.,
or
even
major
cities
like
Boston
or
San
Francisco.
Atlanta
allows
many
black
gay
men
and
lesbians
the
opportunity
to
be
out
at
work
and
in
their
neighborhood,
while
offering
abundant
social
outlets.
But
there
can
be
a
downside
to
so
much
opportunity,
as
Jarvis
Dupree
discovered
when
he
and
his
boyfriend
moved
to
the
widely
revered
ATL
a
few
years
ago.
“I
moved
here
with
my
partner
from
South
Carolina,
and
Atlanta
kind
of
consumed
our
relationship
because
of
all
of
the
other
opportunities,”
Dupree
said.
“Everyone
wants
to
party
—
they
come
here
thinking
it’s
a
big
party.”
Atlanta’s
booming
black
gay
population
may
increase
the
likelihood
of
people
finding
romantic
partners,
but
it
also
might
make
settling
into
a
committed
relationship
more
difficult
given
the
added
distractions.
Despite
the
city’s
reputation
as
a
black
gay
mecca,
Chris
Sosa,
who
moved
from
Philadelphia
to
attend
college
in
Atlanta,
is
not
hopeful
that
he
will
find
a
lover
amongst
so
many
potential
partners.
“It’s
actually
made
it
harder
because
it’s
so
many
boys,”
Sosa
said.
“There’s
so
many
men
here
in
Atlanta,
and
it’s
just
so
many
options.
The
scene
pretty
much
goes
like
this:
he’s
fine
this
week,
and
then
next
week
you
just
find
somebody
else
who
is
finer.
“And
if
you
really
can’t
be
happy
with
one
person,
there’s
always
going
to
be
someone
who’s
cuter
and
better
looking,
and
that’s
the
whole
thing
with
dating
in
Atlanta,”
he
added.
Dupree
and
his
boyfriend
broke
up
about
a
year
after
moving
to
Atlanta,
and
Dupree
has
been
discouraged
by
his
dating
options
since
then.
“It’s
very
shady,”
Dupree
said.
“People
aren’t
interested
in
dating.
They
want
to
casually
talk
to
people,
and
that’s
it.
“Outside
from
being
gay,
I’m
very
conservative,”
he
said.
“I
believe
in
courting
still,
and
not
being
in
a
rush
to
have
sex.
It
ruins
things,
but
that’s
what
the
scene
has
been
reduced
to.”
‘THE
HARDEST
CHALLENGE’
Darlene
Hudson
was
eager
to
explore
the
promises
of
Atlanta
when
she
first
moved
here
in
August
1998.
“I
was
not
looking
for
a
relationship
because
I
had
just
come
here
from
Arkansas
and
was
trying
to
take
advantage
of
Hotlanta,
the
girls,”
Hudson
said.
“And
some
of
the
people
who
are
my
friends
who
came
to
Atlanta,
they
came
under
the
same
pretext,
or
with
the
same
kind
of
thoughts.
I
think
when
people
come
here
—
gay
and
lesbian
people,
straight
people
—
they
are
looking
for
those
opportunities
to
just
kind
of
float
around.”
But
Hudson
was
also
intent
on
becoming
involved
in
black
gay
activism
in
Atlanta;
a
month
after
moving
here,
while
attending
a
meeting
for
a
now-defunct
black
gay
organization,
Hudson
met
a
woman
named
Stefani,
who
extinguished
Hudson’s
desire
to
play
the
field.
As
the
couple
approaches
their
10-year
anniversary,
Hudson
advises
Atlanta’s
singles
to
avoid
focusing
on
finding
a
relationship
as
though
it
were
a
pot
of
gold
at
the
end
of
a
black
gay
rainbow.
“Get
busy
doing
something
and
stop
worrying
about
a
relationship,
a
relationship
will
come,”
said
Hudson,
who
suggested
volunteering
or
becoming
involved
in
a
cause.
“People
should
do
that,
and
stop
saying,
‘OK,
I’m
going
out
to
Club
Miami
to
find
me
a
woman
tonight.’
That’s
what
they
do,
they
go
find
them
a
woman
for
that
night
and
it’s
done.”
The
sense
of
liberation
Atlanta
provides
single
gay
people
is
also
a
powerful
counterbalance
to
the
difficult
work
of
maintaining
a
committed
relationship,
said
Hudson’s
partner,
who
goes
by
her
first
name.
“I
think
personal
relationships
are
the
hardest
challenge
that
human
beings
have,
and
there’s
no
formula
except
trying
to
be
the
strongest
person
you
can
be,
try
to
lead
a
contributing
life,
and
along
the
way
you’ll
attract
people
who
are
about
the
same
thing,”
Stefani
said.
Hudson
and
Stefani
attributed
their
lasting
power
to
honest
communication,
each
partner
maintaining
her
individuality
and
not
rushing
into
a
commitment.
“I
don’t
think
people
spend
enough
time
being
friends
first,”
Hudson
said.
“They
go
from,
I
just
met
you,
to
kind
of
hooking
up,
and
the
next
thing
you
know
they
kind
of
live
together.
People
don’t
give
each
other
enough
time
to
be
friends
and
learn
people’s
likes
and
dislikes.”
The
following comments were posted by our readers and were
not edited by SOVO. We ask that you
treat others with respect; any post deemed offensive will
be removed.
